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His Spirit is Free

Posted by benbeatscancer@gmail.com on July 16, 2020 at 7:10 AM

Ben's mom arrives and joins us.


We three ladies hug and cry,holding one another, beside Ben.


Your mama's here, I say.


Yea, he breathes...and it's barely audible.


He knows you're here, I tell her.


Oh, my boy. My sweet, sweet boy. She places her hands on his on his heart as his breathing continues to slow.  


We continues our stories about his life, family, Mia, the kids, his house, gardening, our wedding. Slowly, his one word breaths turn to gentle nods, then eventually silence.  


We sat with him a couple more hours.... and finally, his last breath was released. 


We cried again. We held each other and said, 'It's not fair.' We spent a little more time with him and when the nurse told us we could have all the time we wanted, we said 'We are okay.'


His mom said, 'He's already left this place, his spirit is free.' 


And as I looked at the shell of the man I loved, I knew it was true.


His spirit was free, he was no longer here.


His time with me was way too short, but he got to call it...

It's a terrible ending and I hate it so much. 

 

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