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What Happens Now

Posted by benbeatscancer@gmail.com on July 16, 2020 at 4:05 AM

What happens now? I ask.


We keep him in a painfree, peaceful state. He will eventually stop breathing but he will not be in pain. We will make sure of that. 


Can my sister come in?


When the answer is 'yes', I am relieved. Lisa is by my side in moments. We each hold one of Ben's hands. She reaches over and grabs my other hand and we sit in this awful moment together. 


Ben's breathing is sharp and we tell him stories. Thank you for building me a beautiful house, I say. I love it so much. I love our cat Mia. She's your cat, you know. Your baby. I'm am going to get her un-spayed and have more kittens. He smiles that smile and nods at me. Few words, but comprehending. 


Lisa talks to him too. My boys just love you. Lisa shares memories, of love and family. Lizzie adores you. And me? I've been so lucky to have you as a brother. I wish I had more time to learn about gardens and greens with you. You were just the best man for my sister, I don't know how we will get on without you. 


Between tears, we tell stories. We tell Ben how much he means to us, how much we love him and how incredible he was. 


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